Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Taking life a bit easier .. my days are numbered

These past few days, I have been gearing down life a bit more. What do I mean by that? For the past few months, I have been tenaciously chasing my goals set for this year, though to no success.

I was disappointed nevertheless as I saw all my endeavours towards what I had set out to achieve turn into ashes. I told myself that I would not give up and treat all lessons learnt as feedbacks. Someday or another, I would achieve what I have wanted to achieve.

However, amidst this backdrop, an incident yesterday brought me back to a humbling start! This incident was something fundamental and serious and it really taught me the lesson of cherishing the basic, fundamental and basic element of life.

Being the industrious person all my life, I have always wanted to excel or at least improve in the various aspects of my life. I am always learning but too bad, that basic elements of luck always evades me and being a person true to my soul and myself, I have always eschewed being a person who played "politics and plots" just to get promoted or being fancied by bosses like what many others did.

Being a person true and just to myself with no pretences, I have been subjected to tons of humilations throughout my life but I just let them and these persons pass.

I am just an ordinary Singaporean, always learning and improving myself and hopefully, achieving something better in my life to provide a better standard of living for my family and my loved ones and that is all that I am asking for.

I am afraid that my days are numbered... I have still unfulfilled ambitions and goals to fulfil. I want to fulfil more as a husband, a son and in my social roles that I assume. As a blogger, I want to share more with the world. I do not want to die but sometimes, one has no choice as to death. When death comes insidiously and goes knocking on you, and refuses to budge, you would need to accept your fate and do the last things you want to do before you bade a farewell to your loved ones and the world when all fights against death turn futile!

When I die, I hope for a quick and comfortable death. No point dragging on being a "vegetable", hanging on that life-support machine for years, being a finacial burden on your family. Being sick in Singapore is not cheap and as the uncles and aunties in the markets always tell: "One can die in Singapore, but one cannot fall sick here!" Instead the health costs in Singapore are astronomical, though the health ministry is always looking into providing an affordable health care to all. Hence I would definitely want a quick exit from this world when my time is up. I do not want my family to drain their incomes just to sustain my life for a few more days or months.

As such, I am preparing for death now. I hope that I will stay alive. When will I die? I do not know. As an avid blogger, if you see my blog not being updated for days, for months and forever, you would have know that this writer has gone in eternity.....

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