Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Chronicles of life

well before the advent of blogs, i did keep a diary, and guess when I started? I started to write diary during my NS times, when it was definitely a very bad time for me. At that time, I was quiet and the bunk mates thought I was an antisocial and.......... well, many bad things happened to me as a result. I wrote diary from the day I was enlisted. While others were sleeping, calling their girlfriends, there I was, scribbling away in my diary...... I even brought a few chunks of paper out in the jungle and wrote under the moonlight while doing sentry or to pass the time while being 'tekan' by the commando mosquitoes. I wrote and wrote, transferring the scribbles of paper to my proper diary when I was free during my NS time. Then, my diary grew and grew...from one notebook to 5 notebook. I also continued to write when I was in Thailand, Taiwan and Brunei doing training. So, my diary that I started while in NS chronicled my days of life from Day 1 to my ORD day. Some years back, when I was very free at home, I took out this diary and had a read. To my surprise, as I read the diary, it became terrible for me as the diary revived all my unhappy days in NS........ After some thought, I tore up all the pages of the diary, diary which I had painstakingly kept and maintain throughout all those hard times of army. Though people may comment that it is a bit wasted as I threw away one part of my memory of my life, I think it is a good move. Life should move on, we should not let the past take hostage of us. My bad experiences in army was due to not opening up too well and since my dumping of the diary, I swore to overcome my weakness and to be a better person in life. Yes, this diary did serve a purpose after all, to tell me about my limitations but I also want to move on in life and be a greater being. We should not dwell on the past and be held hostage or become sad once more by rereading the diary entries. With the advent of blogs, I did try to write some personal encounters daily few years back but imagine my horror, when I discovered how my diary blog could be so easily found out by those I mentioned in my blog. For example, if I mention Mr X, my friend in the blog, after sometime should Mr X did a google search on himself, the search will turn up my blog as well. Not to say I belittled my friends in the blog, but there is still a lack of confidentality in one's blog.It can so be easily accessed by others, and sometimes one does not want that to occur especially when he is writing confidential things in his blog. Thus, I begin to start a blog (url as in bottom of my message), more on my daily observations on life, my opinions on certain issues, some interesting things I encounter in my daily life and so on........ It may also be more interesting for other readers and for me when I reread my blog at times

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